It's like that episode of office
by fullmetalmarta
Summary: Lois analyzes Clark's relationship problems with a interesting story and a surprise a the end


**It's like that episode of office...**

"It's like that episode of office…"

"What?"

"You know the one where Jan wants to get back together with Michael, and he doesn't  
want too, so he goes and has a conference with the other women in the office…and they  
give him a pep talk….they tell him just to go in there be strong, and break it off…"

"Lois…what does this have to do with…"

"Don't interrupt me Smallville!"

"So he goes in there to break it off with her, and the first thing he sees is her new boob job."

"Lois, can't we just skip story time…."

He doesn't break it off, she starts talking about all the things they could do differently…and all he says is

"Let's get back together."

"Lois…I really don't get the point of this story…."

"The point is that men end and begin relationships for one reason…."

"Do I really want to hear this?"

"It all revolves around how good he thinks a woman is in bed and how satisfied he is with the size of her…"

"Lois!"

"What? It's true!"

"For your information….that wasn't why I got together with her to begin with…I actually prefer…" suddenly realizing he was about to tell her something he had not intended to tell her and prove her point as well, he turned red and said quickly, "Never mind!"

"See! You just admitted it…you think just like a guy!"

Clark took her by the arm and turned her around and pulled her to the side, he whispered as he leaned in closer to her…"That is NOT why Lana and I broke up…and I would appreciate it if you would just drop the subject…"

"I never said it was the reason…"

"Lois, you're not making any sense!"

"My point is that men are irrational when it comes to relationships…"

"Men are? Really?" he answered sarcastically

"Face it Smallville, it doesn't matter how many Boy Scout ribbons you have hidden away, when it comes to relationships…you're a typical guy…never thinking with your big brain…"

"Thanks for the lesson in relationships…now if you're done tormenting me…"

"Women on the other hand are more rational when it comes to relationships…"

"I think I don't want to know where you are going with this…"

"Women are always looking at the possibilities…"

"I look at possibilities…"

"Stop before you hurt yourself Smallville, I wasn't finished…Women begin a relationship because they feel a connection to a man, they also will end a relationship when there either is a problem with that connection, or when the connection is gone altogether…"

"I still don't get what you're trying to say…"

"My point is that it's obvious who broke up with who, I mean-you were obviously satisfied with both her and her…"

"LOIS! Can we PLEASE not go there?"

Smiling smugly she continued, "On the other hand, Lana seemed to be trying hard to get your attention…a sure sign that there was something wrong with the connection she felt with you…"

"So?" he asked defensively.

"So, it's obvious she's the one that broke it off with you…"

"Fine…you're right…can we get back to work…"

"That's not my point Smallville…"

"Then can we press the fast forward button on this conversation and get to the point?" He said in a very aggravated tone.

"The point is that you are not going to keep a girl around very long until you learn to open up to her…"

"It's not that easy Lois…"

"And the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different outcome…"

"Okay, so what about you Lois? Does that definition apply to you?"

"Just what are you talking about?"

"You keep choosing the same kind of guys…and look how it ends each time…"

"Okay fine, so I have a habit of choosing the weekend warrior type…so what?"

"So, try going out with a guy who doesn't fit that profile…Like maybe a nice guy for a change...Maybe you should try to worry about what you are doing wrong instead of lecturing me…"

"Well that's easier said than done! The only nice guy I really know is you...and by the way, I wasn't lecturing….You're the one that's been moping around singing the 'Lana's gone again' blue's all day…"

"Just drop it Lois…" he turned to walk away and she turned him back around…

"Look I know I'm not exactly great at relationships, but sometimes a friend can tell you what they see that you don't see…"

He just looks at her…

"You just need to find someone that you can trust to open up to…put your libido in the back seat and figure out who that is….then maybe you'll find yourself in a relationship that you can't get rid of…"

A smile crossed his face and he said teasingly…

"Kind of like this one…"

She smiled back and said simply, "Now you got the idea…"

* * *

Hours later she found herself wondering if she was imagining things…then she thought that maybe he was just trying to tease her somehow…the thing was…she had found that on more than one occasion he was staring at her.

Really looking at her…

Which for the first time since she had known him, he was giving her chills.

Finally, they had stepped into the elevator, and he was watching her again…

She couldn't take it, she quickly blurted out, "What?"

He smiled confidently, and said, "You were right."

"Of course I was…" for a micro second the tension eased.

But then, he just kept looking at her.

"Okay…I give up…why are you staring at me? I mean just because I …"

He dropped his eyes to her chest and then back to her face with a lustful gaze, he said quietly and nervously…"It's like that episode of office…"

When she had unintentionally gave him a wanting look in return, he responded by stepping forward and grabbing her and pulling her close to him. A moment later the stop button was pressed.

Finally she realized why he was looking at her.

FINI


End file.
